One way to Get a Clean Kitchen

First get your dear husband a carboy and everything else he needs to begin brewing beer as his Christmas present.

Wait patiently. Eventually, on the second or third brew, the carboy is going to spew like Old Faithful. Roughly 3 gallons of brown, sticky, pre-beer will cover the floor, walls, coffee maker, cooking utensils, crusafix, fish tank, laundry soap etc. etc. I have washed things that I never thought 'd have to wash (e.g. the crusfix).

The good news is that with all my routines in place, the kitchen was already quite clean and clutter-free, so the clean-up has been as smooth as it possibly could. Though there is still brown liquid oozing out from under the island. . . .