Timely Find

I went looking for a sample of my writting for the "I write like" website and this is what I found:

Reality vs. Fantasy

There are many benefits of being a mother with several small children and husband to care for. Often they are hidden in all the mundane tasks to be fulfilled. At the end, or even the beginning of the day I do not have a lot of time to consider the ideal. What could this house look like, what should this child be doing? I am ever, refreshingly, and exhaustingly pulled into the moment by the immediate task at hand. With faith this life of the moment becomes a blessed thing.

My times of prayer are sometimes meditative and abundant, sometimes at the sink with soapy water and fleeting. It is in the blessed moments that I am able to remember the love for Christ alone is my motivation to act. Every act for love of Him keeps me in reality rather than the fantasy of “if only I had this” of “if only we did that”.

Magazines and television bombard us with the fantasy world. The lives of celebrities and the happiness objects can bring us are stories that are fun to believe, but ultimately bring us the emptiness and pain of envy, self-hatred, and discouragement. I am blessed by having four little Christs who need to be clothed and fed and loved every day to remind me of the power of Love. But whether we have children or not, we are all given chances to encounter Jesus everyday in the people he put in our paths. Real love involves sacrifice, self-denial, humility, and is painfully real. Real Love brings us to the cross, where we look at the manifestations of Jesus’ profound love for us.

What a good reminder I just gave myself.
And I write like Leo Tolstoy!

Sweet Consolation

Last night was the liturgical anniversary of my loosing our baby. What I mean is, it was the 4th Friday of Lent when I began to miscarry. I don't remember the date, and would rather remember it this way, since it so directly connects the suffering my whole family experienced with Jesus' suffering on the cross. When I knew what was happening, the words we repeat at least 14 times during the Stations of the Cross on every Friday of lent were profoundly present: "Not my will, but Yours be done."

So last night during the remembrance of 14 moments of Jesus' suffering, I looked down at my cooing, smiling, bundle of consolation. I wondered for a moment how old our lost baby would have been. But quickly realized that if that baby were here, Blaise wouldn't. I don't need to remember the "might have been" age of our little soul, because his or her life on this earth is complete. God's design includes suffering, redemption, consolation, a love for ever single soul He Creates--no matter how young or old. That little baby, who we call Happy Marie Joseph, blessed us in life, and death. And blesses us from heaven.

A year after my Good Friday, holding Blaise, I'm already seeing Easter Sunday!

I know there is a connection!

First--Happy Feast of Our Lady of Fatima!! If you haven't read about the apparitions at Fatima Portugal you need to. A beautiful example of the simple faith of children, and the wonderful powers of God. I have a tradition of reading Sister Lucia's own account of her first communion to my children before they themselves receive. Wonderful!

The connection I'm looking for is between the feast day, and my successful, and totally exhausting day. It's been sunny, lessons have been done well, laundry washed, folded, and even put away! Healthy lunch and even snacks. Cheese dripping. Phyllo thawing for dinner. Children playing happily outside. Can it get better than this?

I have worked hard, and prayed hard--for my children, for a family who lost their adult daughter, for my husband who is working late into the night--and I feel it in every bone. A good, full bodied tired. A tired that lets me know I am living my vocation to the fullest.

Maybe that is the connection. The children of Fatima, two of whom died young, and one lived her life as a holy nun, lived their vocations to the fullest with the encouragement of Our Lady. It is when I am on my knees (prayer, or physical collapse--doesn't matter) that I can most profoundly feel God's presence, and that of His gentle Mother. In these moments of Homemaking and Mothering fatigue I can look most assuredly to Our Lady for her loving support as I continue on the road to Jesus through this vocation of love, laundry, and laughter.

For Erin

I can't remember where I stopped in my "trip abck East" retrospective--and I can't go check because I'm sneaking in some pre-schooling blogging. The girls are getting started--but if they find out I'm blogging they will not get any work done. . .this is worse than being on the phone while homeschooling!!

Anyway--my new friend Erin commented on one of the Easter posts. Thank you Erin!! Erin and her husband were the messangers of God who took in a family of 7 whose van totally died in Montana. We had met them at Mass, and discovered some connections (St. John's and Thomas Aquinas, not to mention pro-life medical connections). We died the second time mere miles from their home, were able to limp to their driveway, buy a new truck with the help of the used car-dealer neighbor across the street, and have our 5 slip into play time easily with their 7. At one point it was hard for Erin and I to tell little Joseph and Thaddeus apart. I think we brought home the right one--he answers to his name anyway!!

So--here's to Erin! God Bless her, her family, and new baby Daniel!!
Also--Erin, please email me at edblouin1021@yahoo.com so we can communicate privately.

Contentment and Desire

This is the face of a happy 9 year old. Content. And yet, her deep desire for a little sister is JUST below the surface. Thalia has been praying for "Agnes-on-the-way" for going on 6 years now. Thankfully God sent Temple and Iska, so there's an extra baby girl to go around whenever we visit. They wear a lot of pink, since they were preceded by 2 boys.

We certainly do want more babies--but one never knows--and of course we can't promise a girl. . .and sometimes even I get frustrated at Thalia's seemingly relentless "When will we have another baby?!" Not the thing to ask when Mommy is tired out from a busy day with her existing children.

But during my calm moments I am right there with her. I love all my babies, and will love having as many more as we end up having. I used to answer the "Are you done yet?" or "when will you be done?" queries with the old "Weeellll, there's this thing called menopause. . . ". But now I realize that there are recorded miracles in scripture of post menopausal women having a baby--so my new answer is "Sarah and Elizabeth were sent babies in their old age--I can only hope. . ."

Then again--I'm an optimist. A friend is caring, long term, for her infant grandson. She's tired. Maybe menopause is a good idea for most of us.

But until then Thalia and I will keep praying for Agnes (or Notkur) on the way.

Too Much

Does this ever happen to you--Too much dishes, clothes (both clean needing to be put away, and dirty needing to be washed), legos on the floor, books and papers stacked up, money disappearing from the bank account, lessons to plan, papers to find, church events to organize, people to call, orthodontists, car guys, and tax preparers to pay, floors to clean.


I'm really stretching to make this pity party sound as bad as possible--but John just came in and announced that the table is clear, so I can do the lesson plan, and he's starting a load of laundry. And really it doesn't look that bad now that I put it all in writing.

Sunday night anxiety strikes again! Thank you Lord that I also have too much Love coming at me from John!

The Clouds Part. . .

. . .and the Nelsons arrive!

I had been having a hard day. O.K. A hard couple of days. The house was a shambles, my spirits were low, and my children were--well--children. Why they can't hold it together and be rational at least when I'm stressed I DON"T know!

So I implemented "Bad Day Plan A"--which involves packing up the school books and heading to a library where little ones can play and older ones can be educated in a comfortable place that is not my home. Add some cheeze-its, grapes, and water and you have an easy day. Lisa came over in the afternoon and proceeded to guide me through decluttering, cleaning, folding, putting away fun. We talked about schedules, and realistic expectations. She got me excited about FlyLady again. She did my dishes. She is a friend in the deepest sense of the word.

The kids watched a movie. And another. And part of another.

We ate beef stew and bread.

I have a clean spot for "Control Central" and I can face the next 2 months with a bit more gusto.

Sometimes God's Grace comes in the form of a giving friend!

Feast of the Guardian Angels

I get the feeling we are asking 7 angels to work really hard during these months of separation. They sure are doing their job!

Angel sent by God to guide me,

Be my light and walk beside me.

Be my guardian and protect me.

On the paths of life direct me.